10 things to avoid when attending a funeral
Funerals are a place to be quiet and respectful. While most people understand this, every funeral has different traditions and customs that one may not know. As a result, a guest may unintentionally offend someone else, including the host. Therefore, individuals must always keep a few points in mind when attending these occasions. The things one should not do at a funeral are straightforward for people to understand and remember.
Arriving late
Being on time or early is a golden rule when attending a funeral. One should arrive early to settle in before the service begins. Being late would mean interrupting the proceedings by having to look for a seat. If a person does turn up late, they should enter discreetly and quietly and look for a seat in the back to avoid disturbing the funeral setting.
Dressing inappropriately
Funerals are sad and serious occasions. Therefore, guests should not experiment with dress codes and styles. The most accepted attire at such an event is black. One should wear dark neutrals if they do not have black, but avoid dressing in business casual and steer clear of jeans and flip-flops. Wearing something suited for the event, such as formal attire, is advisable to ensure one does not offend anyone at the funeral home.
Being rude to the family
While this one might seem obvious, it is easy to forget when at a funeral. One should remember that a family is going through a challenging time during a funeral and may need the love and support of their family members and friends. So, people should be nice to the family and not say anything rude. One should offer their condolences to the bereaved, then move out and let them speak with the other guests at the venue.
Taking photos or videos
Many people take photos and videos of the funeral service. However, one should avoid these actions as they might be disrespectful to the family. If a person wishes to capture photos or videos, they must seek permission from the family first. Since it is a sensitive occasion, guests should speak to the family before the funeral begins.
Leaving the phone on loud
Being in a religious place, a theater, or other silent settings requires people to keep their smartphones on silent mode. The same applies at a funeral home. However, most individuals forget this rule, and their phones chime or ding, attracting unnecessary attention. If a phone starts to ring, it might be disrespectful to the family. Therefore, individuals must mute their devices before entering the service. Doing so ensures one does not disrupt the event. If a phone does go off, one should quickly silence the ringer or step outside to take the call.
Texting, surfing, or being glued to a phone
One may sometimes be tempted to use their smartphones to text, surf, or even play games while at the funeral service. However, doing so could be disrespectful to the family or host. If one has to attend to a call or message or use their device because of an emergency, they should step outside. Individuals should consider giving their undivided attention to the person they are honoring at the funeral.
Saying something unnecessary
While people may prefer being themselves at the funeral, it is important to think smart and choose words wisely. It is okay to say something funny when talking or telling a story about the deceased, as it could help lighten the mood and help people reminisce. However, individuals should ensure their speech is appropriate for the context. Saying something unnecessary might embarrass or hurt someone close to the deceased.
Speaking out of turn
Sometimes, individuals may insert themselves in the procession of speeches, prayers, or talking. However, one must not speak out of turn at a funeral or memorial out of respect for the grieving family. If a person attends a funeral that welcomes guests to come up or share a few words, they must wait their turn and respect everyone’s time, especially that of the deceased person’s immediate family members and friends.
Attracting attention
Unless someone is the spouse, close family member, or close friend of the deceased, they are likely attending the funeral to support the family and pay their respects. So, it is essential to remember not to draw unnecessary attention. It is perfectly understandable to be emotional or upset. However, a family member might not be able to handle a visitor overwhelmed with emotion. If this is the case, one should step outside and compose themselves before returning. Individuals may express their feelings to the grieving but should avoid talking about how the funeral is affecting them. Ultimately, one should be sensitive to everyone attending the funeral.
Disrespecting cues
The procession for just about every funeral or memorial is similar. That being said, the funeral one is attending may have a different schedule than those one may have attended in the past. An individual must respect the procession the best way they can. For instance, they should use the restroom during an intermission (if there is one) instead of in between someone’s speech.